It Takes Longer Than You Think
Most meaningful things in life take longer than we expect.
Longer to build a business.
Longer to learn a new skill.
Longer to change your circumstances.
Longer to become the person you’re trying to become.
That doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human.
What It Actually Looked Like for Me
Occasionally friends I havent seen in a while reach out to me via text, phone or social media.
When they say things like: “It looks like you are so successful! I am watching your social media and everything looks effortless!”
I can’t help but laugh to myself because they viewing my most perfect moments posted… and images that represent over 12 years of struggle as I built my current businesses.I still remember a season when Fridays weren’t something you celebrated — they were just another workday.
When I started my business, I couldn’t take breaks. I would drive to Starbucks early in the morning, grab a seat at the high-top bar next to the loud espresso machines, order a large drip coffee, and start working. By 2 or 3 p.m. I’d buy a sandwich and go for a walk. Then I’d come back, order a cold brew, and keep working. Later, I’d buy another sandwich for dinner and stay until 10 p.m.
I was working close to 80 hours a week, trying to figure out an international import/export business I had just purchased — an industry I didn’t yet understand.
I wasn’t working that much because I was disciplined or impressive.
I was working that much because I didn’t have the knowledge yet.
So I traded time and energy for learning.
Weekends. Late nights. Repetition. Mistakes. Trying again.
Six and a half years later, that effort is the reason I can now take time off — but at the beginning, it didn’t feel like progress. It just felt hard.
Why We Underestimate How Long Things Take (Neuroscience)
Our brains are terrible at predicting timelines.
Neuroscience shows that the brain plans using known information and dramatically underweights:
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Learning curves
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Emotional fatigue
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Uncertainty
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Setbacks
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The time it takes to build competence
This is called the planning fallacy — a cognitive bias where we assume things will take less time and effort than they actually do.
Why?
Because the brain prefers completion over accuracy.
It imagines the outcome without fully accounting for:
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How unfamiliar the work will feel
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How often motivation will dip
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How much emotional regulation will be required
So when progress takes longer than expected, the brain interprets that delay as failure instead of normal process.
That’s where discouragement comes from — not from lack of ability, but from misaligned expectations.
The Emotional Cost No One Warns You About
What makes long timelines especially hard isn’t just the work.
It’s the emotional energy required.
Building anything meaningful demands that you:
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Make decisions without certainty
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Carry responsibility alone
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Tolerate discomfort longer than feels reasonable
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Keep going when feedback is slow or unclear
That’s more emotionally taxing than most jobs — and more than most people anticipate.
When something goes wrong, you don’t just fix it.
You feel it.
That emotional load is why people quit — not because they aren’t capable, but because they didn’t expect the journey to feel this heavy.
The Lie That Makes it Worse
It’s easy to look at where someone ends up and assume the climb shouldn’t be that hard.
Social media and marketing reinforce the idea that:
“If you just do the right thing, it should work quickly.”
That’s rarely true.
For most people, success isn’t fast — it’s persistent.
It takes longer because:
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You’re learning while doing
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You’re building capacity as you go
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You’re becoming someone new in the process
None of that is visible from the outside.
How To Apply This To Your Life
If it takes longer than you think, the solution isn’t to quit — it’s to adjust how you measure progress.
Here’s what actually helps:
1. Measure Effort, Not Outcomes (At First)
Early on, effort is the win.
Showing up, learning, repeating — that’s progress before results appear.
2. Expect Emotional Fatigue
Feeling tired, frustrated, or discouraged doesn’t mean something is wrong.
It means you’re doing something demanding.
3. Stop Using Speed as Proof of Worth
Slow progress doesn’t mean you’re behind.
It often means you’re building something durable.
4. Remember Why You Started
Most people quit right before the compounding begins — not because they can’t do it, but because they misjudged how long it would take.
A Reminder Worth Repeating
If you’re still working on a Friday…
If your goal is taking longer than you planned…
If you feel frustrated but haven’t quit…
You’re not failing.
You’re in the part everyone underestimates.
It takes longer than you think —
and that doesn’t disqualify you.
It means you’re still in the game.
